For 99% of human existence, we lived in communities. These were groups of twenty to thirty people who lived together, worked together, and died together. We felt a strong connection with these people – we could hang out, talk shit, celebrate our victories, share our defeats, talk about our fears.
Then we have started living in apartments, condominiums, and suburbs. We went to work with people with whom we did not share the same values. We started eating alone. In 1954, Swanson invented the TV dinner. Millions of lonely people set up their folding tables in front of their TVs. Urbanization and urban densification have officially put an end to our tribal existence, and we are now paying the psychological price.
So what happens to life outside of this tightly knit community? The first thing that happens is that we become acutely aware of being lonely, and therefore become very concerned about finding that special person that will complete our lives and make us eternally happy. They will put an end to our painful sadness and answer every single one of our social needs.
Our need for connection can morph into a strong desire for success, fame, and recognition when maybe all we need is some good friends. Unfortunately, the concept of the commune does not have a good reputation. They often morph into religious fanaticism where messianic leaders use the female members as sex slaves, as the males dedicate themselves to polishing the leader's ego and his custom Rolls Royce.
Million Man is a tribe – it is a place where we can regroup, lick our wounds, bitch and moan about the women in our lives, and then work on a collective plan to get ourselves out of this hole we are all in. The trick is to unteach ourselves all the lies we have learned about being a man.
Here are FOUR reasons you should join the Million Man tribe.
1) Being Part of a Group
There is strength in numbers. When you are part of a tribe, you are accountable to other people. This sense of connection helps to build your sense of self-worth. You become recognized. Your contribution is valued. You feel supported. It takes the pressure off you because you realize you are part of something bigger than yourself.
2) Sense of Purpose
Men today are battling to find purpose and meaning. They have no interest in religion and the traditional purpose of being the breadwinner in a family is fading into the background as fewer young people are getting married. Million Man is founded on the purpose of building high-value men. It is this common purpose that will provide you direction and a sense of purpose.
“Boys don’t cry”. “Take it like a man”. All these cliches have a place. We are men. We are strong and you can rely on us. But men also need support. We need people to talk to and we need a non-judgemental place to do this. Romantic relationships are not the place, because these vulnerabilities will be used against us at a later date. We need a manly tribe.
4) Battling Loneliness
The modern world is lonelier than the world that preceded it. We have never been more connected, yet we have never been so lonely. Loneliness is the disease of the 21st century. Million Man aims to put an end to that.
Million Man is built on 4 uncompromising foundations: 1) Kindness – high-value men are friendly, generous, and considerate.
2) Shared vulnerability – the tribe is a place where we can be open about our worries and anxieties, and the problems that throw us off balance.
3) Understanding – everyone has their own quirks and idiosyncrasies. We embrace and learn from our differences.
4) Reassurance - we believe that everyone (man, woman and child) has a special superpower. We have the ability to give something to other people that these people crave, and that is reassurance. We are all haunted by doubts of our value. We are all concerned about the future. We are haunted by things we have done – they cause guilt and embarrassment. Everyone you meet, regardless of who they are, are being plagued by varying degrees of insecurity. Can you believe that even supermodels are insecure of their appearances? These people are desperately waiting for someone to say something to them. Million Man believes in the power of reassurance. Members need to hear they have a right to exist, that we are on their side. Words like: “I think you are going to be fine”, “everyone goes through this”, “there is nothing to be ashamed of”.
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