High-value men chase excellence, control, discipline, and mastery in their lives. They want to be the best at their jobs, their careers, and their relationships. They understand their purpose and why they were put on this earth. They are working on executing their mission. In this single-minded pursuit, FIVE things do not distract them from their objectives.
Money is not the why for high-value men. They do not get up in the morning and say to themselves – today I am going to make a shit load of money. They get up and say – today I am going to execute my job to the best of my ability. I am going to close that deal, I am going to get that client, I am going to nail that business pitch. Money will follow them – but they do not chase it. If you are chasing money, it becomes your master, and it will control you.
2) Sexual Relationships
High-value men do not pursue sexual conquests and relationship intimacy. If you are chasing it, it will lead you off your path. As you seek excellence in your life, sexual partners will come into your frame – you will attract them into your path and they will enhance (not hinder) your journey. Alexandre Dumas said that "woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them”. The reason for this is that we move into their frame – we focus more attention on making them happy and this derails us from our purpose. This sounds selfish and narcissistic, and maybe it is. The bottom line is that high-value men know they need to look after themselves first – love themselves first, and then the rest will fall into place. Low-value men rely on sexual partners to make them feel happy, validated, and fulfilled. This is not fair on the partner and dooms them to a life of low value.
3) Instant Gratification
High-value men can control their urges and their desires. They can delay gratification because these urges do not control them. High-value men are not slaves to porn and junk food. Sigmund Freud spoke of the pleasure principle that rules infants and children. This is the instinctual seeking of pleasure and avoidance of pain. As adults, we move into the reality principle where we delay gratification for long-term rewards. If you are addicted to instant gratification, you are acting like a child, and there is nothing worse than a full-grown man acting like a spoiled brat.
If you are an approval addict, your behavior is as easy to control. You are the same as a drug junkie. All a manipulator needs to do is a simple two-step process: give you what you crave, and then threaten to take it away. Every drug dealer in the world plays this game. Can you see how vulnerable you make yourself when you dedicate your efforts to seeking the approval of others? High-value men do not need external validation. They know who they are, and this foundation cannot be swayed by any external force. At the heart of social media is the need for approval and validation. If you are on social media for approval, you will always be a low-value man.
High-value men seek excellence, not perfection – there is a substantial difference. Perfectionism is a combination of excessively high personal standards and overly critical self-evaluations. High-value men do have high standards, and they understand their weaknesses, but they are also realistic and patient. Chasing perfection is toxic because it does not exist. Perfectionists believe they can only be happy when they achieve perfection. Because they never achieve this unattainable goal, they become miserable, depressed, and anxious. They often develop eating disorders, low self-esteem and low value.