You need to work hard at forgiving all the stupid shit you have done. We all do stupid things. These self-condemning words jiggle around our brains and haunt us at the most inopportune times. Yes, you should never have written that email to your boss saying he was a small-minded idiot and the laughing stock of the 3rd floor. You should never have dated that Russian stripper. You should have listened to your friend when he told you not to invest in the dodgy cryptocurrency. Why did you not exercise more restraint and self-control?
We fuck up because we were greedy, shallow, vain, lustful, selfish, and emotionally immature. Our self-loathing grows as we compare our shit lives with the perfect lives of people on social media.
You need to find a healthier answer to all these accusatory questions. You fucked up because that is what humans do. History is full of examples of people acting impulsively - do you think Bill Clinton considered all the ramifications of having an affair with his intern?
To fuck up is human - it is our birthright. We never have all the facts at our disposal before making a big decision. We don't know with certainty who we should marry (I am twice divorced). We are not fully aware of where all our talents lie. We do not know what the stock market is going to do. We can make some educated guesses, but that is as scientific as the decision-making process gets.
There are so many things that fuck up our decision-making process. Things that happened to us as kids weigh heavily. Our brains are also faulty - it doesn't function well when your blood sugar drops or you are drunk or revealing cleavage is thrust in front of you.
So go easy on yourself. Give yourself a break. Treat yourself as if you were a friend. Forgive all - or at least the majority - of your fuck ups.
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