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The Most Interesting Man in the World - Chapter 2: Empire Building Begins

High-value men are interesting, and if you ask any woman, they will tell you that interesting is sexy. What does it mean to be interesting? Interesting people tell incredible stories and lead unusual lives. The source of their magnetism is their curiosity. They are always excited to explore the world, and this curious energy radiates outward.

The first step to becoming interesting is exploring the history of the world we live in. So, buckle up, because I am going to take you on a crash course in everything you need to know about the world (in my opinion). This is going to be a mega summary. I am going to exclude plenty of stuff. I am going to try and condense trillions of pages of information into a few thousand words. I have broken this into chapters. This is the second chapter.

Chapter 2: Empire Building Begins

In the 1,000 years between 500 BC and 500 AD, we saw the emergence of massive empires as powerful men with small penises needed to expand their influence and power. The most famous was the Macedon Empire led by Alexander the Great. What kind of a douche names himself “the Great”? In 15 years, he never lost a single battle. He was the Muhammad Ali of rulers. He was taught by Aristotle (one of the world’s greatest philosophers) who in turn was a scholar of Plato (who wrote The Republic and was more democratic than Aristotle). This was all going down at around 350 BC.

There was never a Greek Empire – like the Roman Empire. Alexander was the closest they got, but Greek civilization contributed bucketloads to modern society. Firstly democracy – although you had to be a man over the age of 18 to vote. Adult slaves and women were expressly excluded. The Greeks also gave us the Olympics, the alphabet, the first library, standardized medicine (the Hippocratic oath taken by doctors not to hurt their patients), and the lighthouse. Had it not been for the Greeks, doctors would be serial killers, ships would be plowing into the rocks at night, and we wouldn’t have known how to write! During this time, we also had the Roman Empire, which at its height stretched from England in the west all the way through to Mesopotamia (more or less where Iran and Syria are today). The Roman Empire reached its zenith in 116 AD under the emperor Trajan. When he died, the empire split into West and East (a bit like what happened after the Second World War), but on this occasion, Germany was on the winning side. In 476 AD the Western segment fell to German influence. The Eastern segment flourished, known as the Byzantine Empire, with its capital in Constantinople. The Byzantine Empire would last another 1000 years until they got fucked over in 1453 by the Ottoman Empire in a siege of Constantinople that lasted almost two months.

This split in the Roman Empire is mega important from a religious point of view. Christianity flourished in the west while Islam flourished in the east. If you want to get a better understanding of some of the conflicts in the world over the past 2,000 years, a good place to start is with these two religions.

If we move further over the East, in the 3rd century BC we find Ancient India’s golden age which laid the foundation for the Hindu culture. If we travel further east, we bump into China and the Han Dynasty of 200 BC. The power and influence of the Hans were similar to that of the Romans. These guys were shit hot and contributed immensely in the areas of government, mathematics, technology, education, and, astronomy. They made Confucianism the official state ideology.

There were also regional empires in other parts of the world. The Kingdom of Aksum, centered in present-day Ethiopia, established itself by the 1st century AD as a major trading empire and the home of world-class middle- and long-distance runners. The Zapotec Empire in present-day Mexico lasted for over 2,000 years and fell in 1521 AD.

There is one simple rule of empires – they rise and they fall, and they never regain their former glory. China, however, is the only exception to this rule. The Han Dynasty succumbed to marauding nomads. They entered the north of China and raped and pillaged their way through the region setting up small kingdoms. Just over 100 years later, the Sui Dynasty successfully reunited China and laid the foundation for another Chinese golden age under the Tang Dynasty (618 – 907). This is important to remember, especially now as China is challenging the US as the world’s dominant power in the 21st century. The fact that China was a world power in the past does not preclude it from becoming a power of the future – because China breaks all the rules of empire building!

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