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Understanding Why Men are Lonelier than Ever

There is a new word in the English dictionary that reflects the plight of the modern man - that word is "incel". It is an abbreviation for "involuntary celibate". Wikipedia describes it as an ideology, online subculture, and/or movement characterized by public displays of sexual and or romantic frustration. Some discussion in incel forums shows signs of hatred, misogyny, self-pity, and self-loathing, racism, a sense of entitlement to sex, and the endorsement of violence against women and sexually active people.

The first reported incel mass killing took place in August 2009 when George Sodini opened fire on a LA Fitness health club in Pittsburg Pennsylvania. Three women were murdered and nine other people were injured after Sodini killed himself. He reportedly expressed sexual frustration and complained of constant rejections by women on a website he registered in his name. His actions have been embraced and glorified by members of the incel community, who sometimes refer to incel violence as "going Sodini".

Incel communities tend to believe a few key things. Firstly, women have become highly promiscuous over time. The nickname they give to attractive and sexually available women is "Stacy". Second, they believe that a small number of men dominate the sexual market place and their dominance is growing. These men are referred to as "Chads". Finally, they believe that the sexual marketplace is winner-take-all with a small number of Chad's bedding all the Stacies. These Chads are helped by social media, Tinder and other dating apps. Incels use the Pareto principle to come to the conclusion that 20 percent of the Chad's are having 80 percent of the sex.

So let's take a closer look at these incels. Based on the 2020 poll, they are mostly male between the age of 18 and 32. There are women who identify as incels (in fact the very term was coined by a woman) but they are not welcomed on incel message boards. Fifty-five percent identified as caucasian while the remaining 45 percent were divided among the range of ethnic groups including Black, Latino, Asian, Indian, Asian, Middle Eastern, and Other.

A total of 84 percent of respondents to the poll said they were virgins. Inceldom is not exclusively about sex - it is about finding a romantic partner. Nearly 63 percent said they had never kissed anyone. More extreme incels would suggest that kissing a "foid" (a derogatory incel term for a woman) disqualifies you from being a real incel.

Mental health questions (and responses) provide a critical window into the incel experience. Most incels reported profound dissatisfaction and unhappiness with their lives. They feel insecure and have a fundamentally pessimistic view of the world. This is also referred to as being black-pilled- this is a hopeless attitude that regardless of what they do, they will remain celibate and inferior to other men. More than 95 percent found that this black pill ideology was a good reflection of their reality. Almost three-quarters of the respondents experience anxiety, stress, or emotional distress in a "constant manner".

The majority believe they are in the position on account of their physical attractiveness - overweight and below average height are common attributes. They even coined the term "heightcel" to refer to an incel who is short in stature. Incels place a massive premium on physical attractiveness and believe that if they looked a certain way, they would have success with women.

All factors mentioned as being the reason behind their lack of success with women:

1) Physical appearance - 86 percent

2) Self-confidence and social anxiety - 74 percent

3) Lifestyle (too much time indoors) - 66 percent

4) Status (eg wealth and job) - 59 percent

5) Physique (weight and muscle mass) - 58 percent

6) Height - 48 percent

7) Personality - 45 percent

8) Autism or similar conditions - 39 percent

9) Location - 39 percent

10) Race - 31 percent

You will notice that the top 5 choices all fall under the umbrella of physical appearance which reinforces just how important this is to incels. There are several reasons for this sex drought. Young men are withdrawing into the online world and are consuming more pornography. They are also living longer with their parents, which is a real boner killer. But possibly the strongest reason is that women are becoming more selective about who they drop their panties for. They are focusing more on their careers, and delaying marriage plans or canceling them altogether. As women progress in their careers and start to unlock their economic potential, they also see how their sexual market value increases. Women are hypergamous by nature – they only want to hook up with people on the same socio-economic level or higher. Given that men are in a throes of a crisis, this pool of dateable/fuckable men is declining. This means that a smaller number of alpha-type men are having more sex. The Pareto principle of 80/20 is very much in play – 20% of men are having 80% of the sex.


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